person holding white Android smartphone in white shirt

Daisy : What was he doing on His Phone?

Subject: Desperate for Clarity

Dear Alana,

I hope this email finds you well. My name is Daisy, and I’m a long-time reader of your column. I’ve always admired your wise, empathetic responses, and I find myself in need of your guidance now more than ever.

Over the past few months, I’ve noticed some disconcerting changes in my husband’s behavior. He has started receiving odd notifications on his phone late at night, often around 2 or 3 in the morning. Initially, I dismissed it as work-related or harmless group chats. However, his secretive behavior around his phone has escalated to the point where it’s impossible for me to ignore.

He’s become exceedingly protective of his phone, often flinching if I come anywhere near it, and it’s always locked with a passcode, which he refuses to share. I can’t shake off the feeling that he might be hiding something – perhaps an affair, digital or physical.

I understand that this is a grave accusation and it’s not something I take lightly. I believe in our marriage, but I also cannot ignore my intuition and these worrying signs. I’m looking for ways to confirm or dispel my suspicions without causing undue harm to our relationship if I’m wrong.

Alana, I’m desperate for advice. How can I confirm if my husband is cheating?

I’m at a crossroads, Alana, and I don’t know which way to go. I want to trust my husband, but I also need to protect myself. Can you guide me through this?

Thank you for taking the time to read my email. I eagerly await your guidance.

Warm regards,


Re: Desperate for Clarity

Subject: Re: Desperate for Clarity

Dear Daisy,

Thank you for reaching out and trusting me with your concerns. I understand how difficult this must be for you. It’s clear that you’re in a tough situation and you’re seeking clarity.

Given the circumstances you’ve described, here are some potential steps you could take:

  1. Password Reset: Try resetting the password on various dating sites and apps using his phone number. If he’s been active on these platforms, he should receive a password reset notification.
  2. Phone Swap: If you have an identical phone, consider swapping your drained phone with his. This could give you an opportunity to investigate his phone while avoiding any immediate suspicion.
  3. Sim Swapping: If you’re the account owner or an authorized user on his phone plan, you could temporarily swap his number to a different device. You could then use SMS verification to gain access to various accounts.
  4. Online Dating Profile Search: Services like Buzz Humble could provide a comprehensive search of online dating profiles. This could help identify if he’s been active on any such platforms.
  5. Bank Statement Baiting: Suggest a fabricated financial opportunity, such as a property purchase. By requesting to view everyone’s bank statements for a better interest deal, you could look for any unknown expenditures.

Remember, Daisy, these steps are merely suggestions based on the information you’ve given me. Your situation is unique, and it’s important to consider all factors before deciding on your course of action. I hope these suggestions can provide you some direction.

Take care,